A Failure SYSTEM

I need to find a new place to live as soon as possible.  I am living with a relative but I can’t stay for a long period.

For years I have been receiving services from the Division of Development Disabilities in New Jersey (DDD). I contact DDD regarding to this problem and I asked them for help.  Unfortunately the process is taking too long.

I mailed the following letter that to my case manager from DDD back in the summer.  They were aware of the situation before the letter was written.

On September 1 20010, my parents will be moving back to the Dominican Republic (DR). Once they leave I will not have a place to stay.   Since the DR lack of resources for people with disabilities to attend school I can’t move back with my parents.   I also have student loans to pay. Financial aid doesn’t cover my entire tuition.

Since I moved to New Jersey at age fifteen, I have accomplished a lot of goals. Months after I moved, I was placed in Cerebral Palsy Center in Clifton.  The major focus of the school was to teach the students independent skills how to prepare a meal, clean a room, count money and so on.

At that time, my mother and I didn’t have any idea of what school I should go to. I was evaluated by the child study team of the district. According to them I should attend a special school.

Later on, my mother and I got involved in an advocacy group for parents with kids with disabilities. Five years later, thanks to my mother and the parents’ advocacy group we found out that I was placed in the wrong school. I transferred to a regular high school.

But my age was my biggest obstacle. I was already 20 years old and the limit age is 21.  We requested permission to the board education

In high school I had the opportunity to improve academically. Since the freshman year most of my reports cards were “As” and “Bs.” I graduated from high school on the honor roll.

After graduation I attended Passaic County College. I started taking ESL courses English As a Second Language because my English was a little poor. I had difficulties with class schedule, homework and I felt frustrated as a result, I dropped out of college.

Then I tried to find a job. The only job that I found was working in a workshop for people with disabilities but I didn’t feel happy to be working there. I wanted to do other types of work such as computer data, receptionist or file clerk. I was told that I didn’t qualify for that type of job. A year later I stopped working at the workshop.

I went back to college to complete the courses that I needed it. I took one or two courses per semester. One of my English professors became my mentor. Thanks to my family and his support I was able to success in college. While I was there my mentor encouraged to write personal essays, poems, articles and doing translations from Spanish to English. I didn’t know that my writing skills is strong. I also completed the ESL Program and took college level courses.

On May 2009, I graduated with an associate in liberal arts. On September first I transfered to William Paterson University. Now I am communication major. Also last year, I worked as intern for the state of New Jersey.

Who Killed Tyler Clementi?

By Javier Robles

America is becoming the country we use to point fingers at, a place were intolerance of others is commonplace. Where we do not think twice about using someone’s sexuality or sexual preference for our own comic relief. We put people like Rush Limbaugh on a pedestal and go out of our way to make a point of showing what we don’t like about other people. As the polarization of these “United States” continues so will tragedies like the suicide of Tyler Clementi a freshman at Rutgers University. Tyler was outed as being gay after his roommate Dharan Ravi, and Ravis friend Molly Wei, taped him and another man engaging in sexual acts. Rhavi and Wei face invasion of privacy charges, and may also be charged with bias intimidation. Tyler, however, will never see justice served as his body was found floating on the Hudson, September 29th, according to the Wall Street Journal. The 18 year old’s last message to the world posted September 22nd, on Facebook, read, that he was going to jump off the George Washington Bridge.

This young man saw no other way out but one, suicide, why? Because many times we learn from our parents, clergy, media, family and “Friends” that being gay is bad. It is not “normal” and in the religious case, “it is a sin against God”. We as a society tolerate intolerance. We sit back in the house of the lord while a person of this Earth riles on about the sin of being homosexual. We tolerate the imposition of laws and lawmakers who believe they can legislate sexuality, morality and personal choice. In fact, we leave the television and radio on while the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Pat Buchanan educate our toddlers about hate and fear mongering. These same people also lambaste certain television shows as too violent, sexual or “non-American”. There is an indifference towards those not in the mainstream, the gays, disabled, immigrants, and poor. Yet, we tolerate!

It is this tolerance for ignorance and intolerance for people different from us that should have the spotlight shined on it. Do not get me wrong, the two perpetrators in this incident Ravi and Wei, deserve what ever is coming to them. However, we deserve a collective blame. Parents, who allow their child to believe it is all right to dislike others, simply because “they are not like us”. Pastors, who preach love in one, breathe only to stigmatize and hate in the other one. Politicians, so afraid of their base or blinded by their “family values”, that they cannot open their mouth against legislation or laws that continue to oppress our men and women in uniform. Media, that promotes hate like a sporting event, that actually pay commentators to profess their dislike of (according to them) those so morally corrupt that they cannot possibly be “Real Americans”.

It is our tolerance of anti gay, racist, anti disabled and lack of empathy for the poor in this country; that make, a bright young man like Tyler, think the only solution to his sexuality is death. That is a low-point in our Countries history. Just like the murders of Mathew Sheppard in Texas, Frank Rodde’s in Chicago, and Jorge Steve Lopez Mercado in Puerto Rico; were all committed by others, we just supplied the ammunition.

For more information on organizations and websites providing services and positive messages on gay issues visit:

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
http://www.thetaskforce.org/

Gay Men’s Health Crisis
http://www.gmhc.org/

GLBT National Help Center
http://www.glnh.org/

To Talk to a Live Person

GLBT National Hotline
1-888-843-4564

GLBT Youth National Hotline
1-800-246-7743

Struggling

I have not written in a while because I have been struggling for several months with a significant health issue which has resulted in a high level discomfort during most of my waking hours. After the initial adjustment to my disability, I felt as though I was successfully handling most issues most of the time and adapting to the circumstances I found myself in. Currently, the ability to place things in perspective and reassert control over my situation has escaped me. I have become depressed, frustrated and withdrawn compounded by my seeming inability to gain control over my emotional state. I know the power to deal with this challenge is within me, but I have been unable to tap into it. We are still at the point where we are trying to identify the possible cause or causes of what is taking place. Early next week there should be a clearer picture of what is going on and what options are available to rectify the matter.

 This situation is an almost constant reminder of what my disability means. None of the possible solutions are very desirable. I find myself slipping into a spiral of self-pity which does nothing to help the situation. The almost constant physical discomfort makes marshaling my mental strength to fight this challenge extremely difficult. The fact that I have been extremely healthy over the last 11 years does not help matters either. Naively, I had done little to prepare for additional health problems. I feel compelled to write this blog so people understand the struggles most of us with major disabilities experience on a constant basis. I have likened the situation to a juggler keeping a number of balls in the air, and as more balls get added. It becomes more and more difficult to maintain the skill.

Turkeys

 On October 1st turkey hunting season begins, and I am hoping that this endeavor will occupy my thoughts and mind and will help provide me with an avenue for gaining better control. The turkeys and deer I hunt do not care that I am in a wheelchair and it is irrelevant to the game that I use my mouth to fire my gun. All they know is that I am another predator and that is all I want. Interestingly, this morning 13 turkeys showed up in my backyard to feed at the birdfeeders. I will take that as a good omen for developing a more positive outlook. By the way I never hunt these birds.

Lessons To Be Learned

If you had your television on during the last five or six weeks, it would be hard to have missed some life lessons that were taking place. We have been able to watch a variety of world-class athletes participating in the sports that they love. Thirty-two of the world’s best football (soccer) teams arrived in South Africa to participate in the World Cup. South Africa was a showcase for what can happen when people choose to work together. In the not so distant past South Africa was in the throws of the racial policy called Apartheid. The South Africans obviously have made great strides under the leadership of their new government.

Generally speaking the teams played with great congeniality. Even Spain, the winner of the World Cup, did not win all their games. We must be careful not to define them as the only winner because by doing so we create the implication that the other thirty-one teams were losers. Winning and success are not synonymous; one can be successful without winning, both in athletics and in our personal lives. While there was joy and heartbreak after every individual game, even the players who lost should not be considered losers. The games were refereed by individuals from all over the world. On the whole they did a wonderful job, but some serious errors in judgment were made by a few referees which had monumental effects on some of the teams.  Even in the heat of battle the players generally accepted these decisions with little or no protest. We should recognize that the majority of times most people are making decisions to the best of their ability. There were teams in which the star players failed to fulfill expectations and at other times different players unexpectedly stepped up.

2010 Tour Route

On July 3 another world class sporting event began. The Tour de France is a yearly event which challenges almost 200 top athletes from all over the globe to a grueling bike race which lasts 20 days and covers 3642 kilometers or a little over 2185 miles. Twenty-two teams of nine racers each put their collective and individual skills to the test. On an average day the racers cover over 100 miles.  Some stages are flat, some rolling and some are on extremely mountainous terrain.  The downhill speeds can exceed 60 miles an hour. The bikers race for personal and team success. This is a great test of human endurance both physical and mental, and if we look carefully there is much to be learned. The race presents different challenges to the participants every day. With the large number of racers moving along in tight proximity to each other there are often crashes. Effects of these can range from “road rash” to broken bones. Even racers with broken bones refused to drop out of the race. This year Cadel Evans, a rider from Australia, rode most of the way with a broken wrist. When mishaps happen to a team leader and he falls behind, his teammates drop back to help him catch back up to the group of riders. The person riding in the front of the line cuts the wind which reduces the work the riders behind him must do by as much as 40%. This is called splitstream or more commonly known as drafting.  Team members are constantly changing this front position to keep members fresh. At times racers from different teams will even do this in pursuit of a common goal. Each team has racers called domestiques who keep team members supplied with water.  They must drop back to the support cars behind the racers get a number of bottles and then sprint up to the group to hand the bottles out. Everyone works for the good of the team. In the end with the help of his team members Alberto Contador of Spain won the race. However, all the riders were successful just finishing such a grueling race.
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Racers also must deal with extreme weather conditions. Over the 21 days in the race riders often struggle with road temperatures that can reach 100°.  When they are in the mountains, temperatures can drop as much as 50° from the bottom to the top of the mountain. Often at the summit bystanders will hand them newspapers which the riders place inside their jerseys to help insulate their bodies from windchill experienced on the descent. Sometimes, individual racers will have days when they just are unable to work at professional levels. But like most of the racers on the tour they refuse to give up.

I believe there are lessons to be learned for all of us from watching these professional athletes. We can learn commitment, teamwork to achieve common goals, and refusing to allow pain and fatigue to sidetrack us from our purposes even though we could easily find an excuse to give up. My final observation would be that the challenges and subsequent lessons to be learned here are not just challenges faced by athletes but confront all people in day to day situations including people with disabilities.